My Diminishing Returns

It was 6pm and it was pitch black outside. I had spent the last hour perched on one of the pupil’s desks staring at the ceiling and trying to avoid crying. It had been a tough day, but nothing had happened. It was just that everything felt like it was too much. I don’t ever remember feeling so isolated. I spoke to another teacher who very generously gave up a large portion of her evening to talk through how I was feeling. It was after that that realised that my mental health had deteriorated to the point that I needed to seek professional help. I find this quite a challenging blog to write. Since starting therapy, I have only discussed it with a very select number of people. I think this is due to a combination of mild embarrassment about how I felt as well as a prevailing sense that it would be seen as a sign of weakness; the fear of not being ‘tough enough’ to cut it as a teacher. For me, the biggest challenge I felt was of loneliness. I used to work in the city which has a rep...